Fish & Chips – The Assessment Criteria

January 30, 2008 at 1:37 pm | In Fish & Chips | 1 Comment
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It was difficult deciding on a criteria into what makes good fish and chips. The only thing that I am pretty sure about is the quality of the fish and the quality of the chips should far outweight any other factor. Price, I don’t believe is a determinant because people will return to a good chippy even if it’s slightly more expensive. Saving 50p wouldn’t enter the equation if two good chippies were next door to each other, quality is what matters.  Even in the era of the £5 portion of fish and chips quality is in and price is out.

Quantity has to be measured, you expect a decent size portion, however it’s not an overriding factor, with every chippy offering larger portions for the more devoted amongst us. I think that, personally, customer service has to be in there. We’ve all experienced the wide ranging capabilities with the pleasant, polite and more mature lady being a fixture in many chippies. There are also others that can leave a taste in your mouth worse than the food they’re serving. I’ll never forget when I was living in Preston and I went to a chippy on Church Street, oppositve the Yetka Kebab & Pizza House (great chilli sauce and friendly service) around tea time on a Saturday. There was nobody in waiting to get served and one of the staff was mopping the floor so I’m guessing they were getting ready either for the evening or to go home. I popped my head in to a “What do you want?” and I mean that as it was their own customised “Hello, what can I get you?” with added gruff and resentment at having to deal with a customer.  In addition to the friendly, welcoming approach laid on for customers due consideration has to be given to the speed of service as well. 

Following that I think you have to consider presentation alongside the customer service. How does the shop look itself? Crystal clean or somewhere Nicholas Lyndhurst ended up in Goodnight Sweetheart? Does it look like the kind of place in which food can feel free to absorb oxygen even when dead? Is grease the word that you heard? Shop presentation doesn’t just mean hygiene though. Are the menus easy to read? Prices easy to determine? Can you see what you’re buying? There’s a lot to cram in there.
Food presentation is equally important too and that’s something any chef, well-trained or not, will tell you. Okay, if the fish is good it can survive being spread-eagled over your chips like a Spice Girl promoting her solo single, but if the fish isn’t good and uncooked batter seeps through the coating like it’s been shot by Ripley then you have to ask big question marks about the proprietor. Appalling form. 

The final component of the assessment has to incorporate the variety of food on offer. This is a bit of hypocrisy of sorts because diversification for a chippy usually results in somebody taking their eye off the ball and before you know it, you’re back in plastic batter territory. Kebabs, pizzas, chicken, whatever! However, I do think that it’s important for us to recognise that whilst many chippies increase their options to increase their take, there are others that apply the same high standards to everything on their menu.

Here are the categories I settled on then.

Quality of fish
Quality of chips
Fish size
Size of chips portion
Presentation of food
Shop Appearance
Customer Service
Menu

Like the Colonel there’s a secret formula that weights some categories higher than others because it stands to reason that the quality of the food itself is far more important than if the chippy also sell onion rings. Similarly quantity deserves a slight edge over presentation.

New Potatoes

January 28, 2008 at 5:24 pm | In Fish & Chips | Leave a Comment
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It was never the intention, following my rescue at the hands of ‘The Pride Of Bridlington’, to commence with a search for good quality fish and chip shops. My tastebuds had been spoiled by the unsuspected seduction I encountered and disillusionment returned as confinement to the Haydock led me to staying away from my local chippies. Of course I’d go occasionally hoping to feel the way I once did during the new potatoes golden era of Blackbrook Supper Bar, only to be reminded that even on top form I was comparing The Kaiser Chiefs with The Stone Roses.

This continuing lack of expectation was allowed to meander beyond crisis as I toured around the surrounding areas for hours trying to find a chip shop that was above average. It’s not that there aren’t good, solid chip shops in the area because I’ve eaten in a couple but like many the consistency isn’t there and often, even at their best, they’re still a good league or two behind.

So I’d more or less given up. I posted a topic on a messageboard and just figured that that was it. If I was in the Bridlington area again I would be able to save this increasingly loveless marriage and until then it would be a resigned copulation once a month at home to maintain the relationship.

Fortunately, time moved on, a new job came up and a colleague mentioned in passing and without provocation that near one of the sites in Leeds there was a great chippy in the local town. Revolution! Was this a fanatic in my midst? Could we be Maquisards together? My conversation that followed, filled with enthusiasm for ‘The Pride Of Bridlington’ betrayed my obsession for that experience and highlighted that I was a few steps beyond sane on this matter. However, the topic kept the chatter going and I decided to see for myself if this chip shop was as good as was being suggested and therein lies the birth of the importance of fish and chips and this blog.

The Bridlington Experience

January 22, 2008 at 12:12 pm | In Fish & Chips | 1 Comment
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It was around February and I was working over in the Damascus of East Riding, Bridlington. Bridlington is a lovely little seaside resort with a history going back for several hundred years complete with all the modern foibles of anti-social behaviour orders. Like most towns of its ilk there’s a contradictory mix of decline and regeneration sitting alongside the never-changing visitors and eternal cultural void. A cultural void that condemns the young of Bridlington to either seek a career in the big city, ignoring the hidden beauty of their hometown or empowers them to an existence attached to cider-drips and low-paid, seasonal employment.

This wasn’t the first time I’d been over in Bridlington working but it was the first time that I’d be staying over in a hotel, The Revelstoke. When I arrived at the hotel, the restaurant had already closed for dinner. It was only just past 8.30pm so there was no chance of me tasting steak which wasn’t that big a deal because I was confident that a resort like Bridlington would be full of takeaways selling fish the size of footballer’s wallets. I drove around, it was night time so you would think that even in the midst of a cold February there would be at least one chip shop open. You’re a bigger fool than me fatty. In the end it was try-a-midweek-kebab without a stomach full of beer or Subway and that was it, even McDonald’s was closed so I retired to my room with a copy of the local paper for a night that would change my life forever.

It might have been The Bridlington Free Press that I was reading, it might not have been. Such details are irrelevant because it was the story that my tastebuds had been yearning for, a local award winning chippy had completed some standard of training in their shop.  It wasn’t the training recognition that attracted my attention because we all know that organisations with Investors In People accreditation have faked it, no, it was the “award winning chippy” bit that twinkled like an idea that I’d never had before. An award winning chippy? How have I not heard of such things before? Had my disillusionment with the monopoly situation in Haydock blinded me to the possibility of other chippies being great? Blackbrook Supper Bar was better than anything that I’d tasted locally but I remained a ex-regular there.

So, the next day I made time at the end of the day to sample ‘The Pride Of Bridlington’ and its name is by no means accidental. This was fish and chips like I had never tasted before. A big, battered cod with plenty of batter, chips and fish scraps (something I hadn’t seen in Haydock since The Chair Maker was a lad). Not everyone likes heavily battered fish and I’m relatively easy going about it so the arrival of a fish, that memory serves me to describe it as almost twelve inches (real inches not man inches), encrusted in a dark copper skin hardly registered at the time. The service had been efficient, very friendly and even though you can never escape that American Werewolf In London feeling when you first try a local haunt, it felt like they were pleased to see a new face or alternatively my work suit had them thinking I was a form of mystery shopper. Wrapped in brown paper, this regular portion was immense and perhaps both a bit too big and greasy for pretend fish and chips fans. It was amazing. The fish, despite its overdressed appearance, didn’t burst with grease when my plastic fork severed a thick chunk off it and neither did the fish itself when it was punctured by a man waiting to be impressed.

Usually it’s very difficult to find a chippy that treats fish with care and attention. Prior to finding my Nemo the battered fish that regularly came into view were fortified, half-battered or tough on the outside with sickly uncooked batter swimming around just underneath the surface. You cannot seriously sell fish to people with a coating that snaps or is hiding a slimy second skin and those that do should be embarrassed. Selling fish and chips goes beyond simple consumerism, it a public service, the selling of history, heritage and community.

Monopoly

January 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm | In Fish & Chips, Haydock | Leave a Comment
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A brief guide to Haydock’s fish and chip history in the modern era (part three)

Times change and that’s acceptable, Dixon’s eventually re-opened and became The Little Chippy, opening at lunch and sometimes at tea proffering a consistent product and one that became the best in Haydock. At last, returning to Haydock after nearly a decade away, there was hope, hope that would turn out to be short-lived. It wasn’t long before The Little Chippy became The Closed Chippy and I was driven into the custom of Haydock Supper Bar, whose owners it was that took over The Little Chippy before closing it down within months thereby denying competition and more importantly somewhere local that didn’t require a short drive or forty minute round trip walk.

Prior to the re-opening of The Little Chippy I’d flirted with fish and chips from Blackbrook Supper Bar which, despite being owned by the same people who own Haydock Supper Bar, has delivered better quality and consistency on the chip front that its more illustrious and frequented mother shop. Once the same people closed The Little Chippy down though my loyalty had waned, my local chippy was never going to open again and The Crispy Cod down in the deepest parts of Haydock, near The Ram’s Head (visit if you dare!), finally fell into the same hands leaving Yickers no option other than to go to the McDonald’s of Haydock or chance a takeaway where the focus of standards in cuisine is not fish and chips.

Haydock had become a fish and chip monopoly and although I have had plenty of tasty food experiences at Haydock Supper Bar and Blackbrook Supper Bar things had changed for me.  They would never be the same after Bridlington.

The meek inherit Haydock

January 7, 2008 at 6:32 pm | In Fish & Chips, Haydock | 2 Comments
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A brief guide to Haydock’s fish and chip history in the modern era (part two)

The location of Dixon’s was, at the time, prime time, right opposite Haydock High School where all the juveniles, whose parents had already forfeited religion in favour of ignorance before the new enlightenment of the past twenty years, could head over for a healthy 70s style lunch. Sadly these pagans were denied that aspirational lifestyle as Dixon’s remained The Ivy Of Haydock only in the memories of those who had eaten from there. The Sunflower opened in the scruffy end of Haydock, albeit not too far in for the intellectuals of the Grange Valley area and beyond to venture. It was a success as Haydock of the 80s secured a Chinese chippy bringing exotic cuisine to the Kwik Save masses. What is success for those wishing to explore the sweet and sour taste of rice was nothing but a stunning disappointment for fans of chips as huge measures of chips failed to compensate for portions that lacked consistency from visit to visit and from chip to chip, a not uncommon phenomenon in local chip shops.

Following the demise of Dixon’s my taste radar had been forced to venture deeper into Haydock’s Dixieland to seek salvation around the corner from where my mum used to live as a child, Shaw’s. A chippy without the mythical status of Dixon’s thanks to its longevity, Shaw’s delivered the same kind of consistency in the chip department as Dixon’s and it was here in my mid-teens that fish became an occasional meal, replacing the sausage rolls of my primary school years. The quest for quality fish and chips had been re-ignited and so it remained until another dark day in Haydock takeaway history when Shaw’s changed hands and another Chinese chippy, just half a mile inbetween two others, arrived all but killing off the more traditional fish and chips shop. There were of course other chip shops in Haydock, down West End Road (now Haydock Supper Bar) and I seem to remember one on Leigh Road as well although neither were places that I’d frequented when younger.

These were dark days.

Wimpy? McDonald’s? Give me Dixon’s any day!

January 4, 2008 at 5:52 pm | In Fish & Chips, Haydock | 1 Comment
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A brief guide to Haydock’s fish and chip history in the modern era (part one)

From being a child, chippy chips were a treat and as delicious a food as you could get. The birth of Wimpy in St Helens town centre around the turn of the 80s clouded mine and many others judgement as the hamburger arrived in town along with ‘fries’. It would be easy to rail against the corporate machine now but at the time hamburgers were new and exciting and as for the concept of actually sitting down and eating in what is now marketed as a restaurant was such a thrill for a kid. This was followed several years later with the death of Toy And Hobby and the landing of McDonald’s, which didn’t carry the same kind of buzz as Wimpy’s for me, which isn’t the usual “I hate McDonald’s statement”, more “Wimpy tastes better and has been driven out of the town centre by a Yankee clown!”

However good I imagined those Wimpy burgers to be, my love for such waned as my taste buds developed which is probably a similar story to many others. What hasn’t changed is my memory of the chips served from Dixon’s chippy from when I was much younger. Heading down to the chippy on my bike during the summer holidays having sausage roll and chips in those days, the chips were and still remain the best that Haydock has served to the general public in my existence there. The old lady testing whether the chips have been cooked thoroughly be squeezing them with her unprotected fingers, something that should put you off but is strangely reassuring. This was a dynamite of a chippy. Unfortunately during my younger years fish was a bit too much for a then little man to consume and so I never managed to assess their quality. Dixon’s stopped trading and that chip shop laid dormant for what felt like years.

Not Just Another Item On The Menu

January 4, 2008 at 1:29 pm | In Fish & Chips | Leave a Comment
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When it comes to fish and chips there’s a degree of conservatism running through my prejudices.  First of those is that you can only get good fish and chips from a place where these items take pride of place amongst whatever food stuffs a place will offer on its menu.  Such an attitude of basing mental convictions on superstition, not fact, has driven the human race for thousands of years with whole industries and belief systems benefitting from such poor logic.  With fish and chips, those who would normally like to challenge misplaced perception however, may feel that on this issue my point is truly valid. 

It isn’t anything other than knowledge secured from comprehensive expsure to the outlets that proclaim themselves to be a chip shop, whilst providing an international menu at the same time, usually Chinese food or one of the scourges of Daily-Mail-western-civilisation, kebab.  It’s not that these establishments can’t be trusted to deliver edible, even enjoyable food, of course they can.  What I am referring to is the sacredness of the traditional fish and chip shop, the doctrine that fish and chips are more than just another product to be sold.  The ideology that fish and chips have a heritage status in the United Kingdom and that each portion should be served with love and respect for over two hundred years of tradition.  Fish and chips are not just another item on the menu.  Fish and chips are one of our many gifts to the world and in the same way that American hamburgers should be bristling with meat and not the taste and thickness of coasters, fish and chips served from a chippy should reflect a pride in a meal that has served the British working class longer than the vote.

What follows in this blog is that search for good fish and chips shops!

No Chris?

January 3, 2008 at 1:50 pm | In radio | Leave a Comment

Talk about gutted.  I was driving home yesterday from work, the first time I’ve been in since Christmas Eve and who was on Drive Time on Radio 2?  Not Chris Evans!  After being put off listening to Radio 4 by the increasing tabloid style, points scoring approach that the Today programme has developed I’d sunk into a pit of listening to Chris Evans eulogising about everybody who comes on his show.  The words genius and legend are overused by people under the age of 30 on a regular basis these days so I take it as a generational insult against the Madchester/Slacker/Britpop legends when he throws around such comments without any discernment.

Travelling home last night was a refreshing change and it made things feel like it was a different time of year and it wasn’t the usual drudgery that the end of a day can bring.  Chatting away was none other than Bob Harris, a man who is a legend and can carry the label of DJ, unlike Evans who is merely a Prozac Nation broadcaster. 

It’s not that I hate Chris Evans, sure he swallowed his own ego for a bit during the 90s but generally I quite enjoyed his television output.  It was entertaining, TFI had some interesting guests and a mixture of bands, Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush was different, however I’m a bit sick of his “Everything Must Be Happy” approach.  Occasionally he’ll hint at cynicism and I know what he’s trying to do with the radio show, lifting people up after a shitty day at work.  Unfortunately there’s lifting people up and there’s putting Queen on every single show, or so it feels. 

They should never have let Johnnie Walker get ill.

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